You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
