I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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