she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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