I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
