She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
FUCK WHALES
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
