Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
