he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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