She said her name was "party"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
