WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
