Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
