well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
