she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
worst night to have a conscience
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Let's get the cat blown out
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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