It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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