I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
