I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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