So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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