I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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