it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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