I didn't shave. On purpose
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
