glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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