so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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