It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
