yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
