I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He passed out mid-signature
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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