I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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