What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
