What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
