He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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