Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
