Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
