I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
