It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
