she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
