You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
