so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
