So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
