I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
