Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
