wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
