I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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