just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
