thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
