ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize