I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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