i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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