I accidentally had phone sex last night
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize