after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
