If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
