i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
