you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize