If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
