its not stalking. its research.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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