I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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