none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
