You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
