I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
