why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my poor anus
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize