Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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