Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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