I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
