Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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