...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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