if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
