I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
