after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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