I wish I could teleport
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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