wanna go halves on a baby?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
