Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
