so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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