You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
