check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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